For example, your cervix.”Mulaney: “Are you holding a shoehorn? ” Laliberte: “I actually kind of like this if you wore a cute little jacket on top, and Van Veen: “Where does she think I’m taking her, Mars 2112?” Santagati: “The worst outfit I’ve ever seen—astronaut meets aerobic instructor is never a good look.Plus the lipstick is like someone melted a red crayon and smeared it on your face.” Buka: “This dress is melting my retinas!

I’d wear this if you really don’t want any action and you are trying to keep it professional. ” .” Santagati: “The girls from Wellesley would wear this crap but were often good in bed.

If you wore the jacket unbuttoned with skinny jeans and stiletto boots, that would be perfect.” Buka: “I call this one the ‘Julia Allison.’ The ultimate in self-promotion. The red shoes are a little too matchy-matchy, though.” Buka: “Okay, I get it: red dress, red shoes, red lipstick. When a girl wears this she’s saying, ‘I’m conservative on the outside but naughty as all hell on the inside.’ ” Buka: “This is the girl you take cow-tipping or to a rodeo.

She made fun of you in the high-school cafeteria; now she runs PR for every celebrity you’ll never meet.” , I would hang out in suburbia.” Laliberte: “I love this one. Good, clean fun until somebody gets pregnant in the back of the Ford pickup.” Mulaney: “Meanwhile uptown, Charlotte and Trey blah blah blah…” Titus: “This is my favorite. It doesn’t look like you spent all day getting ready, but that you care about how you look Van Veen: “Wow, leave a little something to the imagination.

Just get rid of the turquoise table-tennis paddle.” Laliberte: “You look like you are going to a hippie retreat to score some ass.” Neffinger: “Oh my God, Jules, you're wearing jeans!

Did you actually put them on or just Photoshop this?

If you showed up in this, forget the reservations: We’re heading to the East Village for people-watching, window-shopping, conversation and cheap eats.Much as I love jeans, though, these are ridiculous—a designer version of the kind in which misanthropic teens scuff around sweeping the streets.” where the characters almost bone followed by conflict.” Titus: “I can never resist this look on a woman.Van Veen: “I’m all for jeans, but there may be AMBER alerts out for small children lost in those giant pant legs.” Titus: “This is adorable.The casual is a lot less intimidating than the work ensemble, and if you want a guy to ask you out again, this outfit won’t scare them off!” Santagati: “It’s simple and I know the girl wearing it is comfortable enough with herself to show up like this.Plus I get to see a hint of a few of my favorite things—and I don’t mean silver white winters that melt into spring.